...Anti B.B.S.F.S.

*Blog Disclaimer*
The font in this blog will be absolutely random;
a stream of consciousness and a little confusion
but just bear with the kid; it'll mostly make sense
at the end of everything; i hope you can bear with the kid

I guess there are things left in the world that really are worth fighting for; and it looks like she's the one that matters the most to me.
"The fuck you talmbout boy?" well its simple; its me vs. her friend and anybody who sees this situation can see that im not wrong nor
right about it; but the way that she's going about this, is that world-renound often imitaded but never requested Bitter-Bitch Single Friend
role; the one that 85% of all guys hate; and the 15% that dont; are just really retarded. The 'Bitter-Bitch Single Friend' role is broken down into three seperate but equally important parts: 1) theres the: 'heen doin no right by you' section; 2) the: 'you know you were doing better by yourself' segment & 3) "if you single with me we';; be happy together. the funny thing is; the 3rd section is unspoken; its the general motive behind the BBSF Laws; but what the BBSF laws dont seem to realize and grasp is that if the current non BBSF is actually happy and enjoying a current relationship and has a great man/sig other @ the house there really isnt a need to try and fuck that up with random and general unhappiness. "What are you talking about Sensei?" im not one to pinpoint anyone for anything; but we all know a girl who has a man and who has a friend like that. (still confused? watch the "Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch" episode of the boondocks) its not that she can't get a man; its just that she doesnt have one at the current moment; which is not said Non BBSF's fault and therefore the non BBSF should not be brought down into the vicious anti-man cycle. Say the non BBSF is talking ot her man; and they are minding their own buisness; whether its a lovers quarrell or just a simple conversation; there really is no need for the BBSF to just jump in and interject her hateful ass two cent. Stop thinking this is a bash post cause its not; my posts be long and you know that. but with the BBSF she'll do anything in her power to try and pull the Non-BBSF away from the current relationship she is in; with different dumb ass traps and argument startes. i.e.: heen payin you enough attention or something of that nature; which will lead the BBSF to try and play the Anti-Trust card with the non BBSF; (stick with me here; this all has a point)  now; im fully aware that there are single friends to married, dating, or involved women who arent down with just hating so hard everybody ends up miserable and alone; those are the friends where any and all discussions go through. not to be an ass but if the BBSF is bitter; then the NBBSF has potential to be bitter if only for the fact that its her friend and she will look at the smallest minute detail just to find something to get upset about and cause strife. but the thing is, some guys are willing to assisst the BBSF in her endevors into finding a man so that she doesnt become a introverted and anti-male tpe person, sadly tho; the sufferer from BBSF tends not to listen to genuine boyfriend respect, admiration and help for her.
"well shit sensei, why would you help her?" because instead of being the mean ol' boyfriend id much prefer to look out and help her find the guy she can relax kick back and not worry about me with. I mean; if im doing all in my power to keep my wife happy as best as i can; whilst living my own life without smothering her; i dont need this jealous voice spittin bootychattuh about some nonsese that isn't true. There's more to a song than jewlry and clothes, and theres more to this blog than i let on; i just needed to rant; i mean hey, you might read this and laugh; cool. but i just needed to put my thoughts on papuh. I'll pen another tonight; i know what you're thinking already ("What? Sensei, with two back to back blogging days?! somethings really got him all screwed up like DJ Michael Watts & Paul Wall") its cool tho; the next one will be alot more peaceful

...Hit the ground and bounce up like..

Boogedy Boogedy Boogedy Boo! Im a lil tired; but im also feeling good about today; i got my hoop on and i damn near won the game singlehandedly, but i wanted to be nice to the kid and let him win the game; but nope he misses the shot. Dah Well, steelers won; there were mad interesting developments in heroes; i ate some cookies and i watched the return of DX and the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin. That was a fun episode of raw tonight; shit had me rollin from the opening segment; HHH is a funny dude. My blogs be so damn random; ioneemno what the hell i plan on doing tomorrow [rhaziel]fick-fickie all i know[/rhaziel] is i plan on going to work and calling the other dude about this job, [damon]Mo' Money! Mo' Money! Mo' Money![/wayans] imma need this to come through so i can start stackin breads and move out of this shit ass area and go back to the thriving bustling area of my home tri-state region; what with the family and such. I would throw down on all athletics again and such like that. Boy i cant wait for NYE i wanna go home but im not to sure what imma do yet; id love to spend it in californ-eye-aye cause that was a mad fun trip, although i would much rather her come to me with the east; iono how i would pay for it; I dont even mind the sturggle. Damn my life is mundane; lemmie fix this situation with my step pappy so i can make mad more side money with the schilling of their energy drink; i can sell salt to a snail; i am a hustla baby i'll sell water to a whale...but yeah im out

efiL 4 sdL <3>

...like those beans

So...I live the life of a confused cursed soul. "well gee frank what brought you to that conclusion?"
well it all started with the fact that i wear my heart on my sleave and how i feel is seen on my face, font, speach, text whatever; and sometimes i get irrational; and dont think shit through properly; i should really look at why that is.

the odd thing is i can't control who i lash them out upon, and the problem is the only person who i truly love and who truly loves me was the latest recipient of these odd lashings. i dont really understand why i have to lash out on her when i could choose anybody else to just unload on and just have my way with their feelings and emotions; but i chose to go after the one person who actually cares about me; maybe i am just like my mother, cause sheen never satisfied about anything i mean im still trying to warm up my hardened and cold ass heart that i have. i mean its like more than just "makes me smile and we enjoy staring at each other" she's motivating me to go back to school, and she's turning a pot head into a non smoker and she's bringin me outta my general listless nigga funk. i mean if i could find the words to say how i really felt; id plaster them across this blog in a font THIS BIG but i cant; her love to me is worth more than the english language and my own mother; and for her i'd trade my entire world as it is; im willing to stand toe to toe with her "father" and take blatant disrespect but not hit that pussy-nigga cause its still her family, even if they dont like him. Im willing to change my life for her; i mean one day imma tell her how i really feel but i cant seem to formulate the words to her; and iono if she thinks i be jokin or if im serious when i tell her vocally. but the thoughts are there and it's rather hard for me to express my feelings properly. My tearducts do work; and i think i need to tell her that; she doesnt know that i fell asleep with tears on my cheeks on the flight back to florida; and she doesnt know that its really hard for me when im sitting at home in my room without her touch; its hard for me to explain i really dont have much experience with this love and long relationship thing; its my first real relationship where im actually getting as much back as im putting into it; last time i was in a relationship i had my heard a-town stomped out; and the one time i tried to tell her; she just brushed it off. i mean it would explain a little of how i am but if she doesnt want to hear then i wont tell her. in my last relationship; i gave most of my all and it all fell through and now we've been together a year and almost 5mths now and there are things i do that i havent ever done before; i mean i'd gladly give her the world wrapped up in a purple bow, if she accepted it. I mean i cant really throw the word down in a blog without sounding redundant; but for me its tough cause even a small part of me is still thinking, lol nah nigga she's just gonna wait until the time is right and then rip out your heart like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and then there are times where it feels like she is the Monica to my Quincy. I mean i want to give her my everything like hands down; and im so ready to do so; but sometimes i get scared to do so; cause of the fear of getting hurt if i do; i had the time of my life when i flew out to cali; and we didnt do anything really but go to one amusement park and one movie; but it was like the most fun and there were like mad pix we took together. Shit was awesome best trip i took in a long time; and i dont want that to just be flushed. I mean if anything i want her to just teach me how to love and help me to become more of an understanding person; iono i guess i let everything pile up at once and not take my time to just think about and laugh about the joke that was being presented; i guess i let the presentation befuddle me and change my thought process...

I mean, this blog was long and originally i wanted to scribe a poem cause i havent thrown down with the bars in a few mths; but i wasnt moved to just rhyme i was moved to just drop the words in a free flowing manner. If you feel like takin the time to read; then word up, and you'll also know that Uncle Phil was the man cause he shat on that palm springs police department i mean it doesnt really have anything to do with the post but its the fact that it was on my TV at the time...so; my thoughts are running thin; but im just glad i got it out, i mean i cant really explain how much i love her without speaking with my hands anyway cause its how i talk and my speach isn't complete without the hand and facial expressions. I just dont wanna lose her, i mean everything i have ever wanted in a significant other/fiance/girlfriend/wifey/best friend is all right here in just one sexy caring package and i screwed up; i cant even front; but then on the flip side; with like these 450+ days we've spent together we've only had two arguments that could be looked at like something to actually worry about. I think thats pretty damn good; i still wanna bring her home to meet my Pops and the rest of my family; i doubt my moms but mainly my dad two brothers and big sis. Iono man; i dont know what i would do if i would lose her; im kind of a recluse now but i think that if i ever did lose this girl id become the most "anti social emo fuck society" nigga to ever walk the face of this earth, and i dont think anything could ever bring me out of it except her.